Why Girls Aren’t Attracted to You.

As I begin to write this post I feel like I have to note that I’m making a very generalized statement that may not be true for all women/situations out there but even still I’ve noticed it so I’m going to say it. Continue on with your reading:

Attraction is a very interesting topic. Psychologists have studied it for years and come up with all these weird reasons as to why some people appear more attractive to us than others. Some of this research shows that we’re naturally more attracted to people who look similar to us (hence that whole freaky thing where couples start to look more and more alike the longer they’re together). We’re also more attracted to faces that are not perfectly symmetrical (look up some pictures of celebrity’s with their faces as mirror images on both sides and it’ll disturb you fully). However my own super-academic-science-based research (lol) has led me to realize one more reason why women are attracted to certain men over others……and that is how financially stable you appear.

Let me tell you, if there’s one thing that makes a girl fall in love it’s a man’s ability to support her and her future children for the rest of her life. This isn’t even just like a thing I’ve made up in my head, it’s been studied. Women often look for financial stability as a more important factor in choosing a partner than physical fitness/good looks (do a Google search if you don’t believe me). But how exactly does a person appear financially stable?

I mean I think it’s probably a case by case situation, but to me it’s probably a factor of how much of a Dad you look like (I couldn’t help but laugh at myself as I wrote that).

So let me explain a little further: Men who look good in business casual clothing automatically get an upgrade. I speak from true experience (aka on the days when my college has job recruiters on campus and all the guys are walking around in suits and all of my friends comment on how significantly more attractive they all look). But you don’t need to be walking around in a suit all the time to get people to be attracted to you, throw on a polo every once in awhile, or actually do your hair, or have basic personal hygiene, shave your beard (the shaving thing is actually really hard for me to say because I’m a big fan of beards but still).

Speaking from my own personal brain, a few months ago I was out to lunch and I noticed this table of men probably somewhere between 20-30, looking like they were on their lunch break in their button up shirts and semi-balding heads and some deep down instinctual part of me was like “Damn, those guys look like they could give me a nice 2.5-kid-white-picket-fence life”. There ya have it folks, proof.

However, appearing financially stable isn’t all to do with how you look, it also has a ton to do with your actions. Like do you have career goals, are you making an independent life for yourself, are you passing all of your classes, do you know how to save money, do you want to buy me a new car (lol) etc. etc. A lot of those kinds of things can be revealed in normal conversation and if you show that you have the ability to do those kinds of things (or simply that you’re not a loser with no aspirations in life) then you may just become more attractive to certain people.

This all probably seems pretty shallow to the majority of you reading this, or maybe just a little gold-digger-esque (….whoops), but hey it’s in our female instincts to look for these kinds of things, in the same way that men are more focused on physical attraction and how well a woman seems like she can take care of you when you’re sick (man-flu is a real epidemic people). So my best advice to you is to put on some khakis and a Dad hat and talk about how much you can’t wait to save for retirement and tada! you’ll find a girl who wants to stick around for the long haul (PSA: if you’re not looking long term then avoid these behaviors at all costs).

From me for you,

Julie

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